Hearing Loss List for Santa

I know that Santa’s main focus is stuff for children, and not expensive toys for adults, life-changing events, medical breakthroughs, or governmental policy changes.

But a person can dream, right? 

This year’s letter to Santa Claus (or St. Nick or any of the many other names the dear fellow goes by) is also for his partner, Mrs. Claus. I don’t recall ever seeing her first name anywhere but for some reason, I just know it’s Sarah, and I’m sure she has a big say on what makes the sleigh (or not).

 

Dear Santa and Sarah,

 

Hey there, it’s me again. Yep, still writing to you at age 60-ish.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I know it’s early, but you guys get so busy and I didn’t want my letter to get lost in your ginormous pile of mail.

Upfront, let me say that while I try not to be a whiner, there are a few things that would make this life with hearing loss and tinnitus a lot easier. It’s a short but tough list, and I hope you’ll both read it all the way through, because it’s not just me that would benefit if you were able to deliver on these things. (The first request is a bit selfish, though.)

 

  1. Please remove my hearing loss and tinnitus/hyperacusis. This is a reverse gift – instead of bringing me something, you can take it away. Might be a nice change of pace for you.

 

 

  1. If you can’t remove all of those, I’d be happy with just losing the tinnitus. The head noise can make it hard to stay in a good mood sometimes. 

 

 

  1. OK, going out on a limb here, but do you think you could you speed up a universal cure for deafness by a few decades so that I, and millions and millions of other people, could enjoy it before we leave this earth?  (Please note, not every deaf person wants this; I’m just asking on behalf of those who do.)

 

 

  1. I’d also appreciate some organic batteries for hearing aids and cochlear implant sound processors. Made out of sheep dung or something that can be recycled in the compost.

 

 

  1. I would be extremely grateful if you could plant a thought, a realization, in the minds of the decision makers for all levels of government of all countries, that hearing loss is an important HEALTH, SOCIAL, and ECONOMIC issue.

 

  1. Then make them act and do something about making life easier for people who are dealing with hearing loss.

 

 

  1. I hate to harp on the tinnitus and hyperacusis thing, but I’m wondering if you would consider adding something to your workshop production list: A vitamin – let’s call it Vitamin TH – which would eliminate or reduce head noise, be non-addictive and come in chewy tablets, preferably chocolate flavor.

 

 

  1. I would also love some peace and happiness for the whole world, but if that’s asking too much, making assistive technology more affordable for all of those who need it – well, that would be just fabulous.

 

Normally, I do a Top 10 type of letter, but I don’t want to appear greedy, so I’m stopping at 8. Thank you for all that you do, Sarah and Santa, and I wish you both a productive and joyous season. 

 

Hope to see soon.

 

Your friend,

Gael Hannan

 

PS:  Thank you for helping me keep a sense of humor about hearing loss, something I believe I asked for a few years back. Sometimes I lose it, but it usually comes back. 

About Gael Hannan

Gael Hannan is a sought-after speaker for her humorous and insightful performances about hearing loss. Unheard Voices and EarRage! are ground-breaking solo shows that illuminate the profound impact of hearing loss on a person’s life and relationships, and which Gael has presented to appreciative audiences around Canada, the United States and New Zealand. A DVD/video version of Unheard Voices is now available. She has received awards for her work, including the Consumer Advocacy Award from the Canadian Association of Speech Language Pathologists and Audiologists. Gael lives with her husband and son in Toronto.

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Jerry Gutekunst

Jerry Gutekunst says, that all of us who have written to Santa, as I do now as well because I’m assuming this email will go direct to Santa’s Smart Phone or Sarah’s in case Santa drops his in the snow again, as he’s going up on a roof top or down a chimney or when he’s already to leave for the next stop. I did find it on my lawn when the snow melted 3 years ago. Santa, old pal o’mine, I’m almost 72 and I really don’t want to be waiting too much longer for the above noted gifts,… Read more »

Lisa Kaminski

Thank you for being a voice for so many of us! And reminding us to use our sense of humor to cope in a hearing world.

Sharon

I agree with every word. Thank you Gael.

Wendy

Santa, Please throw some regenerating ear cilia (from chickens and fish) in your bag for the researchers to do stem cell implants for us!!!

Yes folks, ear cilia does not regenerate in humans but it does in chickens and fish. What’s the hold-up?

Guruatma

you’re so creative, and true

…and funny

Dee

Gael, you are adorable. And this letter is brilliant.

Gael Hannan

Why, thank you Dee!