If I Could Move Your Lips For You

If I could move your lips for you, I would.

We’ve been friends forever and I can read your emotions, easily.

But reading your words is tough because your lips don’t move,

Not much.

Friendships with new people, wonderful people, have not flourished

Under the strain of communication, but

You are my friend – I want to keep talking with you forever.

 

And today, meeting in Starbucks, I’m in trouble

As I watch, listen and interpret your lips,

Shaping words for me to see and breathing sounds for me to hear.

Your lips are smiling – but your eyes are not.

Your fingers drum the café tabletop,

Competing with the noise of a hundred coffee cups.

We could talk in a quiet, well-lit place,

But we love the atmosphere here,

And the lower lighting flatters our age.

 

So whose fault is it – yours, mine or ours –

When for the ten thousandth time

I must ask you to repeat yourself?

I sense your invisible eye-rolling and sighing.

Immediately, I’m both apologetic and resentful

And I want to shout:

 OK, I’m sorry to ask you to repeat – again, 

But maybe if you moved your damn lips!?

I do everything I can to make it easier,

This café isn’t that loud, or that dark.

We’re sitting close and I’m wired for sound.

The only thing I can’t control is the way you move your lips.

I hate to say it, but you missed the “giving good lip” gene.

You’re just not good at it.

Sometimes I want to reach over and grab a lip in each hand and move them,

So that you can feel how the words should come out.

 

But I don’t say this, because it’s difficult to change how we speak, and I know you try.

We’ve been friends forever, and I love you.

But if I could move your lips for you, I would:

   Keep them pointed in my direction

Move them apart from each other

Slow them down

         Free them from food and fingers

Match their expression with your eyes

Let them enjoy rolling around the vowels,

playing percussion with the consonants

           

If I could move your lips for you, I would.

But I can’t.

So please tell me – again – what you just said.

 

– Gael Hannan, 2012 

About Gael Hannan

The Better HearingConsumer addresses the personal experience of living with hearing loss. Editor Gael Hannan and her occasional guest bloggers explore every corner of the hearing loss life with humor and poignancy. Comment Policy   Gael Hannan, Editor Gael Hannan is an author, speaker and advocate on hearing loss issues. In addition to her weekly blog at the Better Hearing Consumer, which has a passionate international following,Gael has written two acclaimed books, “The Way I Hear It: A Life with Hearing Loss”and “Hear & Beyond: Live Skillfully with Hearing Loss”, written with Shari Eberts. She is regularly invited to present her uniquely humorous and insightful work to appreciative audiences around the world. Gael has received many awards for her work that advocates for individuals to become more knowledgeable and successful at dealing with their hearing loss and a more inclusive society for them to live in. She lives with her husband on Vancouver Island, Canada. Books and other media Hear & Beyond: Live Skillfully with Hearing Loss. Written with Shari Eberts and available anywhere books are sold. The Way I Hear It: A Life With Hearing Loss. Available through online bookstores. Unheard Voices, DVD, vignettes from the hearing loss life. Contact Gael Hannan to order.

11 Comments

  1. I should have read this last week and printed it for my siblings who came to visit on Easter Sunday. Thanks Gael. How lovely it would be if our friends and family remembered to move the lips and slow down the pace.

  2. yes, dear friends all together but they turn to others when speaking, I know they cannot face me all the time but it is frustrating. May just as well have stayed at home with subtitles on TV.

  3. How true Gael. It’s a combination of people not moving their lips and speaking quietly. Then, of course, I have a friend who will start out facing me and then turn away to point something out to me. I’ll remind her I can’t hear when she turns away. She apologizes, faces me for a few minutes . . . and then forgets and turns away again . . . expecting me to be able to hear her. :)

  4. I hate to say it, but I can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t move his/her lips! It’s IMPOSSIBLE for me to communicate with someone like that – so a friendship doesn’t even spark.

    Were you friends at a time when your hearing was better?

  5. I hear you loud and clear, Gael. I know how you feel too. I have known people who don’t even move their lips when speaking.. They just smile and talk through their beautiful white teeth and their voice are monotonous with no fluctuation in their tone. It is a nightmare for me sometime when you have to work with an individual that does that. I don’t know how many time I have asked for them to move their hands from their face while speaking, “please speak clearer and just talk just a little bit louder” I would asked. yet they don’t do anything they are asked to do.

    Great story Gael.. thanks for sharing.

    1. Gael,
      You are so prophetic and wise, as well as humorous. This post is so eloquent and on point. I will share with my wonderful hearing family.
      Thank you,
      Robin

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.