“Would you mind speaking up, I’ve got hearing loss.”
When you say this to a stranger, a barista in a coffee bar, for example, there’s a list of standard replies you can expect. (“Wow, that sucks” is not a standard or acceptable answer.)
“Pardon? Yuk-yuk.” Oh, gosh, I’ve never heard that before, thanks for sharing. 99% of the time, this snappy response is meant as a joke, a poor attempt to create a connection with the customer. But we hard of hearing people no longer find it funny – ever since the first time we heard it. But because most of us are polite, we give a weak smile. Faking a laugh is asking too much from us.
But there’s a second scenario: the poor coffee-maker may have said pardon because he or she actually didn’t hear you! And that conversation can get messy.
Could you speak up, I’m hard of hearing.
Pardon?
Very funny.
Excuse me?
I’ve got hearing loss and you said pardon.
Because I didn’t hear what you said.
What?
I said…because I didn’t hear what you said!!
Now I forget. But a skinny latte to go, please.
“Oh, sorry.” They’re not really sorry; it’s just a verbal segue into repeating what they said the first time. While we’re waiting for the repeat, we throw out a “oh, don’t be” or a little wave of the hand which means can you just speak up so that I can get my coffee and leave?
“No problem.” They truly don’t mind speaking up, but I find this a poor choice of words. I bite my tongue to not say: “Well, maybe not for YOU, my friend, but hearing loss is one a heck of a problem for ME!”
“Oh, hey, sorry, I’ll be happy to speak louder, I’m used to doing it for my grandpa.” Sometimes they do understand the challenges. But with this response to a woman ‘of a certain age’, the young person might just as well have bellowed, “OK, people, I’ve got a senior here who’s gonna be walking around with hot coffee, so can somebody give up your seat, please. Or just get out of her way, because she can’t hear!” Another weak smile as I wonder if the kid’s grandpa goes to a senior’s center for free, weak coffee rather than to his grandson’s Starbucks for a costly Americano.
Then sometimes you admit your hearing loss and you get this: “Y’know, (pointing to their ears), I’ve got a little of that myself.” Bingo! So, what do you say next? There are options:
“That sucks.”
“I’m not surprised, working in a noisy place like this.”
“Welcome to the club. So how about that coffee?”
OR…
“Have you seen anyone about it? It wouldn’t hurt to get your hearing tested. Even if there’s no hearing loss (yet), it’s always good to have a baseline audiogram so you can keep an eye (yuk-yuk) on your hearing. In the meantime, maybe you should try wearing hearing protection in noisy places (such as this).
Say, how about repeating what you said about the coffee?”
