When I look back to my life before I met other people with hearing loss, I can see how they changed my world in ways I never expected. The following tries to express my gratitude for their impact on my hearing journey.
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The new baby smiled and thrived, and her parents said, she’s good, she’s beautiful, she’s perfect.
But when at age two, she didn’t always turn, didn’t always answer, and started a lifetime of saying “what?”, her parents knew something was different.
The doctors said,
“It’s her hearing.
It will worsen.
It will never get better.
No, there’s nothing you can do.
Hearing aids won’t help.
Have her sit at the front of the class and
Make sure she pays attention!
Come and see me in a year, and we’ll test her hearing again…and the year after that…..and the year after that…..”
My parents believed what they heard and did what they were told.
But now that I know – a lifetime later – about hearing loss, about living, working, and loving with hearing loss, I know what could have been different then, and what can be different now.
Now that I know – that hearing aids can help, I ache for the years I spent scrunching my face, trying to follow, straining to understand. For the years of sounds and words that were off my radar, and not hearing the delicious the sounds of speech or the nuances of voices.
Now that I know – that my own speech was blurred, that I chopped off the endings of words because I didn’t know they were supposed to be there – I wish that someone had helped my parents to help me to enunciate.
But now that I know – that the technology I now embrace was only dreamed of then, my regrets soften and I am grateful for dreams that have been made real.
But now that I know – that all the technology in the world cannot completely banish the hurt, confusion, fear and anger that come with hearing loss, my memories of pain have changed into the sharing of experiences.
Because now I know – that by meeting even just one other person who walks with me on the road, sits with me on the curbs, and climbs with me on steep paths, the journey is smoother and less lonely.
Now I know that I can take charge of my journey, by asking for what I need and introducing better communication bonds into my relationships.
And because of all this that I’ve learned, now I know that I must pay it forward and say to someone else, “I know what you are feeling. Here’s a road you can take. I’ll walk with you.”
