Does this happen to you? Someone asks you about your hearing aids, or cochlear implant, or ask how long you’ve had ‘it’. And as you start talking, eyes glaze over as your family or friends listen to that same hearing loss talk once again.
When I told the Hearing Husband that this week’s blog topic is about whether people (i.e. me) talk about hearing loss too much, he gave me a look that said he was torn between answering, no, not at all, dear and do fish swim and birds fly?
I can’t help it. Hearing loss issues are my passion, it’s what I do. If someone asks, I’m gonna talk about it and if you’re the one that didn’t ask but still within listening distance, you’re free to leave or suffer through it. The person who ask needs to know this stuff and I’m happy to oblige.
In recent times, it was considered polite, even a genteel strength, to not talk about our personal health issues, especially our pain. To not talk about how upset we are about it. And to not depend on other people to help us through it.
This stigma has caused infinite silent suffering, but times have changed, and we can be open about our health problems and seek help. Hearing loss isn’t a pain or frustration that can be relieved by taking medicine. We need communication support from other people which involves asking them for it. Please turn this way. Let’s move over here. Let’s use my mini mic. Simple things that help deal with hearing loss.
And if you’re like me; you may have had an epiphany when you were introduced to the world of hearing loss. Everything changed: my view of self and my understanding of the impact of hearing loss, both past and present. It’s only recently that I realized the trauma I experienced for decades, a continual stream of humiliations, frustrations, and exclusions that I knew neither how to prevent or address. I didn’t like to be found lacking. I didn’t like to be caught making mistakes. I felt embarrassed at every public mis-hear.
And then it all changed. I accepted that mistakes, mishears and frustrations are part of the landscape. I learned how to create positive communication environments. And in my excitement, as is typical of the newly converted, all I wanted to do was talk about hearing loss, to anyone who would listen and even those who didn’t want to.
I have calmed down. But I still sense the inner eye-rolling of friends and family if an outsider asks me about hearing loss, and off I go. I understand that they purposefully do not engage in the conversation to keep it as short as possible. What they don’t do is cut me off, because someone needs ot know.
Don’t worry that your people are tired of you talking about it. They’ve learned a lot from you. They ask you to talk to other people who need your expertise. And they’re probably very proud of you.
If you need proof of this, ask them. Yes, you may get the same look I got from the Hearing Husband – but it’s also the look that says he loves me for what I do. So, don’t shut up about hearing loss – keep talking!
