Because hearing loss is invisible, people won’t necessarily know that we have hearing challenges. Many hearing aids are small, almost invisible, or can be hidden behind long hair. People with hearing loss are also pretty skilled at faking it. This is not a good thing, not only because we may answer a question inappropriately, but also because bluffing creates barriers that prevent true human connection. Better than bluffing is to advocate for our communication needs. The more specific we can be in our requests, the better.
The first step in self-advocacy is disclosure or self-identifying as someone with hearing loss. “Hi, I’m Shari, and I have hearing loss.” Or “I wear hearing aids.” But self-identification is not always easy. Stigma might hold us back. Or perhaps we don’t know what to call ourselves.
Many Ways to Describe Hearing Difficulties
There has been much conversation online lately about hearing loss identity. What are the “right” words to use? What terms send the “right” message? Are certain words “too negative” to use as descriptors?
My take: Let’s not focus on the words that we use, but on the action itself. Letting others know about your hearing difficulties is a critical first step in creating good communication. Each of us must find a way to do it that works best for us.
Here are some common descriptors.
Hearing Loss
Hearing loss is the term that I most often use. I first noticed that I had trouble hearing when I was in my mid-20s in business school. Having internalized hearing loss stigma, watching my father struggle with a similar adult-onset version, I felt a deep loss as my ease of communication dipped. I looked down on myself, worried that his struggles would now become my own. My confidence wavered. It took time to mourn that loss before finding acceptance and advocacy many years later. Given my life experience, the term hearing loss feels right to me.
Deaf or deaf
Using “hearing loss” may not work for someone who was born without typical hearing. There was no loss. There was nothing to mourn. They may even feel deep pride in their community, its language, and its culture. The term deaf (lowercase d or capital D) may resonate.
Hearing-impaired
Others may prefer to call themselves hearing-impaired. This description has lost favor in recent years, but for people who grew up using the term, it may still feel natural.
Device focused
Others may avoid the identity issue entirely and say they “wear hearing aids” or “use cochlear implants.” With a focus on the device, their hearing challenges become less about who they are and more about how they communicate.
Use Whatever Works for You
As with all things identity-related, terminology is personal. What works for you should be fine with me. And what works for me should be fine with you. Sadly, this type of acceptance is not always the norm in our community.
When we critique each other’s choices, we create angst rather than acceptance. We breed discord rather than finding common ground. We do exactly what we hope others won’t do to our community: isolate and divide us.
Let’s strive to do better as a community in accepting and supporting one another’s identities and choices. We are not a homogeneous group, and our terminology doesn’t need to be either.
With mutual respect, we can give ourselves the freedom to choose what works for us in taking the first necessary step toward self-advocacy. Improved communication for all will be the happy result.
Shari Eberts is a passionate hearing health advocate and internationally recognized author and speaker on hearing loss issues. She is the founder of Living with Hearing Loss, a popular blog and online community for people with hearing loss, and an executive producer of We Hear You, an award-winning documentary about the hearing loss experience. Her book, Hear & Beyond: Live Skillfully with Hearing Loss, (co-authored with Gael Hannan) is the ultimate survival guide to living well with hearing loss. Shari has an adult-onset genetic hearing loss and hopes that by sharing her story, she will help others to live more peacefully with their own hearing issues. Connect with Shari: Blog, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter.
