From time to time on Hearing Views, I ask one of my colleagues at Hearinghealthmatters.org to reflect on why he or she blogs.

This week, Gael Hannan, editor of the Better Hearing Consumer section of our blog, gives us this moving account of what has inspired her to share her experiences with our readers.

David H. Kirkwood, Editor, Hearing Views

Now that I know

By Gael Hannan

The new baby smiled and cooed and thrived,

and her parents knew she was well.

But when at age two, she didn’t always turn, didn’t always answer,

and started a lifetime of saying ”What?,”

her parents knew something was different.

The doctors said,

“It’s her hearing.

It will worsen.

It will never get better.

No, there’s nothing you can do.

Hearing aids won’t help.

“Have her sit at the front of the class and

Make sure she pays attention!

Oh, and come and see me in a year,

and we’ll test her hearing again…

and the year after that…

and the year after that…”

My parents believed, and did what they were told.

But now that I know–a lifetime later–about hearing loss,

about living, working, loving with hearing loss,

I know what could have been different then,

and what must be different now.

Now that I know that hearing aids can help,

I cry for the years I spent scrunching my face,

trying to follow, straining to understand.

For the years of sounds and words that were off my radar.

Now that I know how delicious the sounds of speech are,

I regret not hearing the nuances of the voices of my past.

Now that I know that my own speech was slurred and blurred,

that I chopped off the endings of words because

I didn’t know they were supposed to be there,

I wish that someone had helped my parents to help me to enunciate.

With a hearing aid, I would have heard myself.

But now that I know that most of the technology I now embrace

was only dreamed of then,

My bitter regrets soften, and I am grateful for dreams

that have been made real.

But now that I have learned  that all the technology in the world

cannot completely banish the hurt, confusion, fear, and anger

that come with hearing loss,

I can start to change my memories  of pain

into the sharing of experiences.

Because now I know that by meeting just one other person

who would walk with me on my highway, sit with me on my curbs,

head in my hands, and then climb with me to the top

of the mountain,

The irons would unlock from my feet and the tape

would be removed from my mouth.

Now I know that I must say to someone else,

“I know what you are feeling. Here’s a road you can take.

Let me walk with you.”

That’s why I blog.

Gael Hannan is a writer, actor, and public speaker who grew up with a progressive hearing loss that is now severe-to-profound. She is a director of the Canadian Hard of Hearing Association (CHHA) and an advocate whose work includes speechreading instruction, hearing awareness, workshops for youth with hearing loss, and work on hearing access committees.

Gael Hannan

Gael is a key developer and manager of The Hearing Foundation of Canada’s award-winning Sound Sense hearing awareness program for elementary students across Canada, and she also delivers corporate sensitivity training sessions on employee and clients with hearing loss.

She has received several awards for her work, including the Consumer Advocacy Award from the Canadian Association of Speech Language Pathologists and Audiologists.

Gael lives with her husband and son in Toronto.